Things seem very placid at my house. Husband and I are loving and kind to each other, 15 year old is well and busy, 21 year old is back at school at out from underfoot (and back with him went the messiness he creates just by BEING). The optimist in me wants to believe that this is the preschool for a whole new stage in life – one where Mark and I can take off without worrying about a child at home, or where/how to get him somewhere if we don’t get back at a certain time. The stage where we don’t find much of anything that annoys the other in the course of a day. I don’t know what it is, but it’s good. Maybe it’s the weight loss? Can we attribute everything to that?
I had travel plans to Florida last week, but got derailed by the lousy weather here. Not to worry – the airline issued a credit and I have to make it down there sometime this spring, so it will be used. I’m traveling to a BIG meeting next week in Dallas. It’s a long, important meeting that can make me want to bury my thumb in my eye sometimes, but also one I don’t want to miss. Like I have a choice… Anyway, there’s always a dinner on Wednesday night that is somewhere off site and fun. This year, it’s at the new Cowboy’s stadium! Dinner and a tour of the facilities (hopefully, the locker rooms, too!). I’ve been a Cowboy fan forever, so this is a pretty big deal. Mark hates the Cowboys, but wanted to come along just to see the giant TV screen. No spouses allowed, and anyway, I’ve endured too many years of Cowboy bashing to ever let him benefit in any way. Redskins. Ha!
I’m off to a conference in Las Vegas in February. I haven’t been there since 1982, so I’m anxious to see how it’s changed. I’m not much of a gambler (ok, really no gambler at all), but am going to take $20 to blow. I realize, in gambling circles, that’s not even worth mentioning, but in my fiscally responsible world, it seems like about $19 too much! Part of me hopes for one of those bizarre wins that you hear about, “I won $2500 on the 3rd pull!”, but my guess is that I’d be better off spending it in a shop somewhere. Or buying 20 lottery tickets. In fact, I need to do that if I ever want to lure my beautiful niece back home to live in the house I’m going to buy her.
Speaking of beautiful nieces, my youngest niece (daughter of my brother that passed away in 2008), stopped out for a visit on Saturday. Saturday would have been Jim’s 57th birthday. I sent all of the girls a text message, telling them that I was thinking of them and thanking their dad for being their father so I could be their aunt. Alex texted back and said she was going to the cemetery (not far from my house), so I told her to come over. We had a great chat about some pretty important things – girl to grown up girl – just like I used to do with the other when they were her age. I felt so close to her and was glad that we are getting closer. I’m taking her out for sushi on Thursday and plan to make a standing date with her. I missed too many years getting to know her and want to do what I can to be a part of her life. She’s a really good girl and I’m proud of her. Her conception and birth were a turning point for my brother (she and the other three have different mothers). He spiraled down and got a bit lost, but always kept her in his life. I never realized until Saturday how proud I was of him for that. We were talking about how many of her friends were pregnant or have children already (she won’t be 17 until March! WTF????), and I asked about the baby’s daddies – did she know them? Were they in their children’s lives? Some were, some weren’t, some didn’t know the baby was theirs or the girl was pregnant. I told her that her dad ALWAYS wanted her in his life, he worked hard even when the rest of his world was askew, to be a solid for her. She got a little teary when she said ‘I know’. I didn’t say anything more, but I figured she needed to hear that from me.
Speaking of nieces, I’m taking Mark’s niece (niece in law? What’s the proper term for your husband’s brother’s daughter? Just niece doesn’t seem right) for a girls day on Saturday. We’re going for manicures, lunch and a little shopping or something. She needs the girl time and I need to step up for her. She has a long, long road ahead and will need all the support she can get.
One of the blogs I read, Just Eat Your Cupcake, had a very thought provoking entry today. The bottom line – always – is that there is not enough love in the world. Period. We need to quit trying to force a single definition on people. I don’t care who you experience love with – as long as it’s not a child. If you do, you should be gutted like a fish. I don’t care what kind of baggage you have. Gutted. Or field dressed, if you prefer. In fact, I’ve wondered more than once how the parents of a child that was molested STOP THEMSELVES from killing, or at the least horribly maiming, the perpetrator. I’m not sure I could contain myself.
