Point Taken.
30 Nov 2011 1 Comment
Heather and Maria’s points were well taken. Yes, women cheat, too. I seem to be at an (ahem) age where couples I know are splitting up – long term marriages – at the request of the wife. A couple of them are because the wife cheated. One former good friend left for an older guy, moved out of state, left her two mostly grown kids, took her generally good-guy ex to the cleaners. And the guy she left him for? It also broke up HIS (3rd) marriage with two kids, the same age as hers.
Others left because it just wasn’t what they were willing to settle for anymore. Most tried counseling. All but one stayed until the kids were out of high school. At the end of the day, they wanted more, they had changed or grown and whatever they needed to be happy or at least satisfied just wasn’t there.
It’s a scary thought – that the relationship that two people who were in love, who built a home and family and life could come unraveled like that. In none of the instances referenced above am I aware of any ‘deal breakers’ . I have a short list of them in my marriage: regular, excessive drunkenness, drug use, cheating (by the other person), gambling, emotional or physical violence.
I know these women fairly well. We’ve talked at length about how and why they left. The common theme was just a, well, a vacancy that they couldn’t seem to find a way to fill. My brain tells me that some or most of that hole was in THEM, but I could see from their faces and hear in their words that they wanted it to be different, but just couldn’t make it so.
Sadness. But yes, ladies. Women do cheat.
Dec 03, 2011 @ 03:39:10
Thanks for your comment on my blog – and the link back so I could find you! You hit on a real sore point for me. I agree that cheating is a slimy way to go, and splitting up after a long marriage is – on paper anyway – a rotten way to go. That’s the theory.
The reality is you never know what the other person deals with on a day-to-day basis. I have been the leaver in relationships in the past. Oh there were deal breakers. There were multiple deal breakers in each relationship. Not everyone talks about them though. Just because they aren’t vocalized doesn’t mean they don’t happen